And while it’s unlikely you’re going to get scammed, watch Tinder Swindler – seriously
It’s important to be careful with drinking alcohol – when you travel solo in general, and especially when you’re going on a date. Don’t leave your drink unattended and drink in moderation; I personally tend to have a two-drink limit when I’m on a first date.
This goes for both men and women. Be especially cautious of anyone who wants access to your personal details, asks for money or financial aid, or seems to be in trouble. Someone I met in Australia, when I was traveling and living out of my car, told me later he actually wondered if I was going to swindle him!! (I didn’t, obviously.)
I went on a date with an amazing guy early on my road trip up the East Coast (same guy who thought I might swindle him, lol). We went for lunch and a walk, we were having a really nice time, and he offered to cook for me and invited me back to his place for dinner. I told him I needed his full name, phone number, and address to send to my friend, so that she knew exactly where I’d be. He didn’t blink an eye and gave me all his details – er costa rican jenter varme it was a huge green flag to me, that he respected my current situation and he understood why I needed to do that.
Last year, I met a Hot Marine (yes, both are capped) at my best friend’s wedding in Florida. I didn’t end up going home with him, for a few reasons, but the main reason was because I couldn’t use my phone in the US. I was worried about how vulnerable I’d be – I was in an unfamiliar city and my only exit route would be calling an Uber, or (God forbid) the police. Neither of which I could do without a phone. Would he hotspot me, or give me the wifi password, if I asked? Or would he see that vulnerability as something he could exploit, and I end up in a dangerous situation? I really didn’t think so, my gut instinct was that he was a genuinely good person. I didn’t know how to have this conversation late at night after drinking and dancing for hours. For me, the risks were just a bit too high, the conversation a bit too complicated – so, I ended up just saying goodnight.
Dating when you’re traveling solo brings an extra layer of consideration
Remember, keeping yourself safe is the most important thing. Don’t feel bad or guilty for saying no, rejecting someone, or getting yourself out of an unsafe situation that could turn dangerous.
Traveling and Dating Apps
Dating – and dating while traveling – is an entirely different scene now than when I was single way back in the day. I correlate this almost exclusively with dating apps. These apps didn’t exist back in 2011, when I first started traveling. Tinder and Hinge were released in 2012; Bumble was released in 2014. Back when I started traveling (and traveling solo), these apps weren’t anywhere near as popular or mainstream as they are today!
As a disclaimer, I can only speak to dating experiences on Bumble, as it’s the only dating app I use. I’m scarred from the number of unsolicited dick pics my friends have gotten from Tinder, and I just can’t be bothered downloading Hinge. Unfortunately, because women have to message first on Bumble, I feel that the app tends to attract a higher proportion of insecure men who are looking for an ego boost and being “pursued.” But that could be a whole article in itself, so I’ll save that rant for another time.