And lately it’s the same sort of shit
My dad will get a text message on Facebook from a “friend” (usually a dead friend) and it’ll say something like, “I’m Joe’s kid, and things are hard since Joe died and we need some money or we’ll have to pull our kid out of school. ” paraphrased, but that’s generally the angle people take. And the scammers will send hundreds of messages. it makes it so hard.
“Oh, I thought they were a scammer, but you never know. and after a while they just seemed legit.” Again, paraphrased. =P
Dad can’t talk for less than 30 minutes at a time
1) I lock his devices and home router. I turn off data on his phone so he can only make calls when he’s not on Wifi. I block ads (since those can take him to sites he doesn’t need to be on), and I block fake news.
2) I sit down with him once a month and delete people on his Facebook account. I want to delete the whole account. but he uses it to talk to some of his friends. and it’s important for him to keep connections. That said. FUCK Facebook for not doing more to prevent scammers. On some level, there’s just no way to stay clean there. We delete anyone who died, or anyone who he hasn’t spoken with in 1 year, and anyone who he has had any sort of falling out with. And man. the most frustrating thing is how many of these people we delete that just keep re-adding themselves. Facebook really should not re-suggest a friend if you delete them. It’s such a sticky cancer with how it operates.
3) I sit down with him once every 2-3 months and we delete everyone in his phone and make sure contacts are up to date. I tell him to never take a call from a number he doesn’t recognize, and to call me immediately if there’s ever any doubt.
They need to talk with other people every day or home the risk of dementia goes through the roof
4) I run all the updates on his computer every month. And I check for programs that he doesn’t need. Dad only has “User” access on his laptop, and I’ve toyed with the idea of taking away his ability to install any programs. but when we did that it meant he’d call me a lot more because someone had a Zoom meeting and he needed me to run an update. It’s always a cost vs. benefit analysis with restrictions.
5) I have his phone paired to an old Tablet so I can keep tabs on him. I hate that I have to do this, but he’s lost over $50k in the last 10 years to scams. And it’s not the money that even matters. it’s how down and how he cuts off connections with everyone once he gets scammed. The las time he lost like $5k. he wrote a check and mailed it, and somehow the person was able to cash it even though they weren’t the name on the check. Anyway Dad really beat himself up over that, but it’s not healthy for old people to be shut-ins.
6) While not a perfect protection. we keep like $2k in his debit card, and we don’t use credit cards. He has protections on his debit card from his bank, and that way he’s got minimal exposure to online spending and credit card fraud. We just transfer over money every month from his savings / retirement accounts. And now that Dad is in his 80s, I mostly manage those for him.